August 2015 Grandpa’s Wisdomby Steve the son of John

Doing Harm to Our Kids

Too often we sincerely believe that we should be making things easier for our kids. We want them to have more opportunities than we had, an easier time in growing up, have things we did not have, and not to experience as much hardship.

I see this often in parents and I did this myself. However, I hear from parents of my generation that when we did this, things did not workout well for our kids. I indeed see the harm in ‘giving rather than living’.

If there is anything a parent should always be doing is creating experiences for their children. Taking them places, helping them to discover for themselves, creating opportunities for them to learn and grow, keeping them safe but able to see the harm in certain actions—not making it easier for them but allowing them richer experiences.

When we want them to have it easier—to give too much to them, to allow things to be given to them without earning them or having to work for them, character is never developed. Our children do not need ‘easier’ they need character. The only caution I would offer parents that if your child tried but failed miserably; if your son or daughter did not reach their goal do not allow them to be broken to the point of injuring their self-esteem. Now is the time to jump in and be there—it is important for character to be built, not destroyed person.

So next time you decide to make it easier for your kid, stop and think, “Will this create character and strength to make it on his or her own or determination to go the extra mile?” If not then don’t do it! Allow you kids to do things the hard way, to earn what they want, to find themselves by striving not receiving. It’s the loving-parenting thing to do.

Grandpa’s Wisdom

Dr. Steven J. Wentland www.wwjwmtd.com

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